Si A

Jadi, gw punya satu teman ini. Gua uda bercerita tentang dia di post 'Growing up growing apart', dan gw waktu itu panggil dia dengan si A. Jadi, sekarang gw mau bercerita lagi tentang temen deket gw (dan AP), si A.

Si A ini spesial. Di antara lingkaran teman-teman gw, dia cuma satu-satunya yang uda pacaran (yahh sama si temen gw satu lagi itu siii tapi gw tau dia tidak mau diungkit2 *colek AP*). Dan yang bikin dia lebih spesial lagi adalah, dia itu bukan cuma sekedar pacaran, tapi LDR. LDR alias Long Distance Relationship.

Si A ini gw tau sayang banget sama cowonya. Dan bahkan dulu gw pernah ngobrol sama temen gw dan kita came to a conclusion bahwa, kalau si A ini putus, kita ga yakin kalo si A bakal yang mutusin cowonya. Soalnya kita tahu dia sayang bgt sama cowonya.

Kita salah.

Pas gw lagi di tukang jahit hari Sabtu siang sehabis kelas katekisasi, dia bbm gw dan tiba-tiba bilang bahwa dia uda mutusin cowonya. Sebenernya ga tiba-tiba si, dia uda pernah bilang kalau dia cape dan pengen break dari cowonya. Tapi setelah mendengar banyak cerita tentang cowonya, gw tau kalo cowonya ga bakal mau cuma break setengah-setengah gitu doang. Kalau mau putus, ya putus.

Tapi gw cukup kaget bahwa dia bisa dengan secepat itu mutusin cowonya. Karena cuma lewat bbm, gw ga tau kondisi dia waktu itu gimana. Gw yakin dia pasti uda devastated banget dan cowonya juga nangis. Jadi ya mreka berdua uda dalam kondisi hancur banget de.

Malemnya pas gw ketemu dia di ulang tahun temen gw, gw tau dia habis nangis (kelihatan banget si). Tapi karena di situ rame, gw ga sempet ngobrol ama dia dan cuma bisa meluk dia doang.

Sering gw tu berpikiran, gimana si rasanya kalau lu putus? Apa lu langsung benci ama orang itu? Apa lu langsung delete contact BBM, block Skype, unfollow Twitter, dan block dia di Facebook?

Ato malah lu bakal nangis-nangis seharian dan kangen setengah mati sama orang yang selalu ada di hidup lu tiap hari?

Setelah ada satu (lagi) temen gw yang sudah putus, gw sampai sekarang masih belum tahu juga jawabannya.

Gw bertanya, "Gimana si rasanya putus?" ama si A dan dia bilang dia adalah kasus yang berbeda karena dia lagi LDR. Mungkin benar, tapi gw rasa secara universal pasti ada lah perasaan yang sama. Tapi dia memilih untuk tidak menjawab pertanyaan gw. Gw bisa aja berasumsi kira-kira dari perilaku dia, apa yang dia rasain. Tapi, ada satu masalahnya.

Gw ga bisa nebak apa yang dia lagi rasain. Si A ini misterius buat gua.

Dari semua teman-teman gw, dia yang paling susah di baca. Terkadang lu pikir lu tau dia lagi kenapa, tapi ternyata lu tu cuma khawatir over nothing. Ato bahkan sebaliknya.

Gw ga tahu apa dia sekarang uda benar-benar move on dan senang ato dia harus berusaha setengah mati tiap hari buat ga inget-inget lagi. Apa dia masih merasa sedih pas dia dengerin lagu galau di radio? Apa dia masih ga kuat baca cerita yang bahkan cuma ada sedikit romance didalamnya? Ato apa gw, lagi-lagi, worried over nothing?

Gw si yakin si A percaya dia uda bisa ngelewatin masa-masa sedihnya itu. Dan gw percaya juga. Tapi entah kenapa gw masih suka ga yakin sama perasaan gw sendiri. Apa dia beneran jujur? Gw ga tau karena gw ga pernah bisa baca dia.

Tapi, satu hal yang gw salut banget dari dia adalah bahwa dia tu strong banget. Gw tau dia ga share pengalaman ini ke banyak orang, dan dengan kekuatan dia sendiri dia bisa jalanin hidup kayak normal lagi. Ga berubah jadi zombie ato masang topeng seneng tapi sebenernya di dalam lagi nangis.

Ato jangan-jangan dia begitu?

Tau de. Misterius.

Yang pastinya gw pengen kasih tau dia kalo dia itu keren.
Dan bahwa gw kagum banget sama dia. Di sela-sela semua candaan dan hinaan gw ke dia (lebih banyak hinaan si), gw bakal selalu care, peduli, dan sayang sama dia. Dan dia harus tahu bahwa semua teman-temannya yang lain juga merasakan hal yang sama. Khawatir akan dia, tapi at the same time juga kagum banget sama apa yang uda dia lakukan.

Jarang-jarang ni gw muji dia. Gw harap dia print screen ini dan print dalam size A1 terus dipajang di kamar dia. Di laminating dan frame sekalian ya.

Anyway, gw mau dia tahu bahwa temen-temennya pasti bakal selalu ada di sini buat dia. Mau dia lagi sedih, susah, ato seneng, kita pasti bakal ada di sini buat dia. Dan kita, terutama gw yang nulis, percaya 1000% bahwa apapun yang terjadi dia akan tetep baik-baik saja. Karena dia strong, dia keren, dan dia ga bakal dengan semudah itu kalah.

Iya kan teman? :D

Gbu all :)

Little Bird

It was another normal day. I was walking alone in the mall, just doing my own business. And so did everybody else, since nobody pays me any attention.

Which is good, since it means no one saw me drop my grocery bags, me leaving the grocery bag unattended, and me walking closer and closer to the electronic shop where the TV was turned on.

I finally saw him again.

He was singing in a broadcast of Music Show, and he was singing some sort of a ballad song. I can’t listen to his voice that well due to the noisy crowd.

His brown hair was spiked up in a way that boyband usually did. He changed his hairstyle, since the last time I saw him he had his hair trimmed nicely downwards.

His other features didn’t really change over the years. He still had warm brown eyes. He still had his signature smile, a grin that make him look really dorky. He’s still tall. His built didn’t change much too; still the type of built that will make you know that this guy is athletic. His body was still muscular, but not too much. He still looks handsome, and I believe he still had an amazing voice.

No, I knew he still had it. Judging from the passion he exerted when he sang, I knew he still had it.

I held my breath as he finished the song. Another thing that also didn’t change was the fact that I still shivered after watching his performance.

My heart couldn’t stop beating so fast.

Yes, after all this years, Michael still managed to steal my heart.

O.O

I met Mike in university, where I was taking the fashion design major.

He was in the same year as me, but he attended the music major. He was famous throughout the campus, since there were rumors circulating around saying that he was going to be a model or something.

His singing voice though, was what really brought him to fame. He sang once in the university festival, and that performance brought everyone to tears. Including me.

He sang so passionately that the emotions the song tries to convey reach you. I shiver every time I remember that performance. And the fact that he’s a guy is another plus point. I knew it took a lot from a guy to sing like that, but he nailed it.

But, what connected the two of us is not that performance. What connected the two of us is a project for a class called Film 101. At that time, I didn’t take that class. But Mike did.

One day, I was just walking around the campus when I found Mike with his camera. He was spinning around with his eyes peeking through the hole of his Canon 5D MarkII. I didn’t really care about what he’s doing, so I simply walked away. But Mike ran and abruptly stopped in front of me, making me stop in my track.

“Your name is Jessica, right?” Asked him when our eyes met.

I had no idea how he could know my name. I tilted my head to the left in confusion, but nodded afterwards.

“Would you be the model for my film assignment?” Asked him directly.

I stared at him, wide-eyed, not believing in what he just asked me. But from the look on his face, I knew he was serious. He was dead serious.

O.O

The encore broadcast of Music Show ended, and I nodded in approval. I was proud with my own performance, considering that this job is new to me.

“Mike, are you ready? You need to go to the next schedule,” said my manager.

I nodded and packed my bags. The next schedule was a live acoustic radio broadcast, and I needed to get there right away if I don’t want to be late.

When I stepped into the car, my manager greeted me with a wide smile. “You did such a great performance earlier everyone is falling in love with you. You already got jobs full for the month!” said him excitedly.

I just smiled, while the inside of me felt really proud. Finally, all my hard work paid off.

The car drove away in silent. My manager was sleeping, and I just realized how tired he must be.

I looked out the window and sighed. The city lights flashed in front of me, and it was indeed beautiful. But my eyes only watched it with emptiness, as neither my mind nor my soul was there at the time being. With nothing else to do or to distract me, I usually ended up thinking about her.

A part of me wanted to be a famous singer so that I had a higher chance to meet her; or to at least let her see me doing fine and well now. I wonder if she saw Music Show today.

I closed my eyes, wanting to go to sleep. But I failed, and I ended up thinking more about Jessica than anything else.

O.O

It was an assignment from the Film 101 class. You were supposed to make a short documentary about the life of a university student. I was wondering if I should do the project from my point of view or should I go and find a student to use as a model.

But my doubt was cleared when I saw Jessica.

How did I know her? Well, for starters, she was famous throughout the campus. She was famous as the cold girl from the fashion design major, and that not many people wanted to become her friend. They said she was as cold as ice, and that pretty face will definitely fool you if that pretty face belongs to Jessica.

Oh she was beautiful, no doubt about that. She was on another level of beauty, the ‘Goddess’ type of beauty. She was one of those people who would look like she came from another world when she’s lined up with other people. She had a long brown hair, caramel colored eyes, and a thin lip. Whatever she wears will look good on her and her long legs.

In conclusion, she is very beautiful. Even rumors said she had her own fan club. But rumors also said that she was stuck up and arrogant, since she came from a well-known wealthy family.

Then, why did I choose her?

I don’t know myself; it’s still a mystery for me up to this day.

When I peeked through my camera lens and I saw her, something inside of me stirred. Okay first of all, I’m not that bold of a person. But that day, I boldly ran to her and directly asked whether or not she wanted to be my model.

When I asked her that, she looked as if her face was just flattened by a bulldozer.

“What? Are you serious? I’m sorry, but I don’t even know you,” she replied.

Maybe I asked her a little bit too boldly. “I’m sorry, let me introduce myself first. My name is Michael Antonio and you can call me Mike. I know you don’t even know me, but I think you are perfect for this. Would you help me?” I asked again.

Go ahead and call me crazy for asking a total stranger to do this, but the next thing that Jessica did was even crazier. She slowly nodded her head and said yes.

I stood there, realizing that I have no plan whatsoever if she said yes. I was actually ready for rejection.

“Um… so, I’ll contact you again later?” I finally said after the long awkward silent. She nodded-she didn’t talk much-and we exchanged phone numbers.

O.O

Mike texted me later that night.

It was weird that I nodded and said yes, but I just thought that it would be fun to do unexpected things once in a while.

He explained his assignment and how he wanted to follow me around all day with his camera. It sounded really creepy, but I don’t really mind. To be honest, I think I’m just lonely and I needed a friend to talk to.

At campus, I was known as this unsociable, cold girl. When Mike called me by name earlier, I was actually not that surprise. I knew that I was famously known throughout the campus. Most people don’t befriend me due to that prejudice, which resulted in the fact that I didn’t really have friends.

I tried to explain it to a couple of my friends before that I was actually a warm person, but none listen. I give up trying to explain anything and live my life as it is.

But the next day, Mike surprised me. He didn’t show any hesitation at all with talking with me, taking videos of me, or even walking together with me. Some of his friends showed disapproval, I could see that, but he just shrugged. He was definitely a free spirited guy.

We sat down together at the university’s park when my class was over. He treated me ice cream, chocolate flavor, while he ate the vanilla flavor.

I was curious, so I asked him this question. “Why do you keep on staying with me?”

He was taken aback by my questions, and he almost choked on his ice cream. But he managed to regain his composure. “What do you mean?” He asked me back.

“I mean I am the girl everybody hates. No one wanted to play with me.”

“Not me,” Mike said while he licked his ice cream. “I think you’re not a bad person. You’re just misunderstood,” he continued.

I was touched by his kindness. That’s the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me in my whole life.

“I’ve been following you all day you know. I knew that you wanted to talk with other people; it’s just that you’re too shy. And you spaced out too often, so people like to take that as being arrogant. It’s not your fault either that the tone of your voice makes everything that you say sounds sarcastic. Also, I saw you looking at a friend that needed help and I know you wanted to help. The problem is that all the others were glaring at you, so you knew you needed to leave. They treated you so badly when you’re actually not a bad person,” he explained.

I think tears were on the verge of my eyes that day. But I didn’t want to cry in front of someone I just knew for a day. Even so, Mike is such a friendly person that I felt like I’ve known him for ages. And after that conversation, I knew that I could rely on him.

At least for that time, I knew that I had a person I could rely on.

O.O

“So, Mike, what are you feeling now that this many people come to this live acoustic show?” Asked the radio DJs.

I smiled politely, not really feeling familiar with the whole concept of being interviewed live with so many people watching. “I honestly am not expecting this. But I’m happy that my hard work paid off.”

The radio DJs then went on to compliment my good voice, handsome face, lovely teeth and etcetera, while the crowd joined in with agreeing with them. I did wonder why they complimented my teeth, but I laughed anyway with them, thankful for the kind response.

“Michael is now everywhere in the music industry. Every time you turn on the radio, you’ll hear his voice. You watch live music shows on TV, you see him again. What do you think of your popularity? Are you used to them yet?” Asked the DJs again.

I thought about my answer for a while. “I am not used to it yet, but I think this is part of the job so I should just smile and do my best. But I don’t think I’ll sing in live shows anymore. Next week is my last week,” I answered.

Again they all complimented my answer, but this time I didn’t laugh as enthusiastically as before. What I said earlier reminded myself of my ending on-air activity.

Call me emotional, but I got reminded of Jessica. Yeah you see, when you fell in love with one person, that one person will take, approximately, 99.9% of all the spaces in your brain.

I could only wish that she would watch my last performance, or all my hard work would go in vain.

O.O

“Jessica!” Shouted Amanda when she saw me entering my apartment.

I turned around and smiled at her. Amanda is my neighbor, and had always been my neighbor ever since I moved to this apartment.

She’s a great friend, the type that could cheer you up no matter how sad or down you are. And I knew she had a cheerful personality, but she seemed extremely happy that day, even for someone like her.

“What’s the matter, Amanda?” I asked.

She was grinning from ear to ear. “I get ticket for next week Music Show! Would you like to come with me?” She said happily.

Anyway before I continued, I need to tell you guys more about Music Show first. ‘Music Show’ is a live music show (it’s definitely a pun) where singers are given chances to sing their song live for a couple of weeks. It is held by TV station SCTI and is recorded in a studio at the TV station. The rehearsal is not open for public, only for those who have the premium (more expensive) ticket.

To watch Music Show, you will need to buy the ticket for a pretty expensive price. It was not like most music shows, where you could come and watch for free (or even be paid). What makes it different is that Music Show is professional; a live show in a studio with perfect sound systems and lighting and stage and everything. You could even say that watching Music Show is pretty similar with watching a concert, just a little bit cheaper and the singers sing only up to maximum of two songs.

I would love to watch Music Show if someone gives me a free ticket. But back then, the word ‘Music Show’ made my stomach twist. “How… how could you get it?” I managed to ask.
“I work at SCTI, remember? I thought I should go watch sometimes when I could get the ticket easily. Pretty cool, right!” Replied Amanda. Her reply didn’t make me feel any better.

Amanda happened to live alone. She’s an orphan and her brother is always busy with work, so I’m her only confidant. There are other friends at work, but I know she prefers taking someone outside work to a SCTI related show.

“You… you sure people our age could still go to Music Show?” I said in an attempt to change her mind.

“Yeah sure, why not? Come on, Jess, it will be fun! Everyone wants to go to Music Show!” She assured me. I was definitely not assured, mostly because of the probability of meeting Mike live. But I unconsciously nodded my head, because maybe a part of me actually wanted to watch Mike live.
Amanda’s face lit up afterwards and she skipped her way back to the apartment. I was happy that Amanda felt happy, but I was not happy facing the probability of meeting Mike.

I really don’t know what to say if I meet him. But then, it is a music show, so out of that many crowds the chance of him seeing me will be really low. And besides, I’m curious about the song that he sings as well.

I opened the door to my apartment and entered, leaving all my doubt outside the apartment.

O.O

“Jess, do you like that necklace?” Asked Mike when we were walking to the campus together.
I nodded while I lifted a necklace with a little bird as its pendant. “Isn’t it cute?” I replied. I had fallen in love with that necklace.

Mike nodded in approval. “Yup, it is. You know what, I’m going to buy that for you. How much is that?”

Mike swiftly took out a couple of bills and handed it to the shopkeeper while I could only stared at him wide-eyed. I grabbed his wrist. “Stop it! What are you doing?”

“Buying you that necklace,” he replied nonchalantly.

“You don’t have to! I have my own money!”

He just shrugged. “Let’s just say that this is a friendship gift from me to you, okay? Now just take it because I’ve paid.”

Ever since that day, I own this little bird necklace. As far as I could remember, I don’t think I have ever gone through a day without wearing that necklace. It became my lucky charm. Even until now.

O.O

“Sis, you’re still wearing that worn out necklace?”

I woke up from my daydream when Alice asked me that question. My hand instinctively grabbed the necklace.

“It’s not worn out,” I said defensively.

Alice quickly raised both of her arms. “Okay, okay not worn out. But still, isn’t that necklace too old already? You’ve been wearing it since university!”

Alice is my one and only, most beautiful, loveliest, and sweetest little sister I have in the whole wide world. We were not living together, since our parents filed a divorce ever since I was 12. I live with the egoistic father, while she got to live with the flirtatious mother. But we occasionally met up to talk, and that’s what we were doing that day.

I knew that she got a point, but I couldn’t admit that. Alice didn’t know the happiness and pain that this necklace and I have share. She didn’t know that this necklace, for me, represents Mike.

Alice kept on talking about some guy she had a crush on, while my mind traveled somewhere else. I wonder when did I start to realize that I’m in love with Mike.

O.O

It was another lovely day. Birds were chirping and the sun was shining bright. I sat alone at the park, waiting for Mike to finishes his class. The atmosphere that day was so peaceful, but I realized now that I mostly felt that way because I’d be seeing Mike. He makes me feel safe and peaceful in a way no one could ever did.

Suddenly, a couple of girls approached me. They were the type of girls who wear too much make-up, who always buy the new fashion magazine, and who always buy the newest ‘up-to-date’ clothing.
“Hey you! Who do you think you are?” asked this girl with long unnatural blonde hair.

I shifted uncomfortably, not feeling fine with the way they ganged up on me. “I’m Jessica,” I tried to reply in a witty way.

The blonde hair girl grabbed my arm. My witty reply stimulated her anger. “I know who you are, okay! The problem is that Mike stops playing with me ever since he hanged out with you! You must be the cause of it!” accused her wildly.

What a wild accusation, I thought at that time. But of course, the presence of a set of gray contact lens (totally unnatural) looking down at me with anger suppressed all my thought. Not to mention her unnaturally skinny friends who were looking down at me from their raised high chin. And I should have known, the famous and lovely Michael Antonio would have his own fan club.

I couldn’t move. I was too scared to respond. The same thing had happened to me before, when a group of mean girls cornered me in my high school’s bathroom. I couldn’t help but recall that memory. My chest rose up down uncontrollably. I was slowly feeling hard to breath (and now you all should know how confused I was when they called me “the coldest girl in campus”)

The sight of the supposedly super cold girl Jessica melting down in front of them angered them even more. “Don’t act like that in front of us! We know you are acting,” said the blonde again. She was the only one talking.

Then, I saw a figure moved and an arm touched the hand of the scary blonde. “What do you think you are doing to my friend?”

The familiar sound of Mike made a wave of relief washed over me. My heartbeat rate slowly resounded back to normal, when Mike bravely stood in front of them and told them to back away.

“But Mikey! She is evil!” said the blonde again. Her little minions nodded as well. And look, Mike even got an official nickname from his fan club.

Mike’s shoulder tensed. I knew he was angry. He walked closer to the blonde and stood right in front of her, with his eyes fixated on the blonde’s eyes. I knew the blonde girl was shivering in fear. And perhaps admiration.

“I tell you right now, and I won’t repeat it again. She is my friend, a better friend than any of you. And if anyone bothers my friend, then they are challenging me to a fight. So, don’t you ever, ever get close to her again or I will do something that you will never forget for the rest of your life. Understood?"
The gang left with a scoff, although I knew deep inside they was happy that Mike actually talked to them.

Mike turned around to face me, with his wide dorky grin was plastered on his face. But he stopped, and a furrowed eyebrow and concerned expression replaced the signature dorky grin. I tilted my head, wondering why, before realizing that drops of tears were falling from my eyes.

I realized that I was crying, and perhaps had been ever since he arrived.

My tears couldn’t stop flowing and I kept on crying. To be honest, I felt like an idiot if I remembered that day, but I guess I was really scared. Mike walked closer and hugged me, which makes everything better.

“It’s okay. I’m here now, it’s okay,” he whispered softly to my ear.

He didn’t need to tell me. I knew I’d be okay as long as he’s there.

And I guess it’s about that time that I realized I was in love with him.

O.O

When did I realize that I was in love with Jessica?
Let’s see…








Nope, I don’t know the answer.

It just happened.

It just happened that every time I looked at her my heart beats faster. It just happened that whenever I listened to her laugh, I would also laugh because it’s a joy to merely watch her happy. It just happened that I would do anything to spend a day with her, or just to saw her even for a second.

Maybe I’ve grown attached to her. Like a knight in a shining armor trying to protect her princess, that’s what I felt every time I was with her. She’s so lovely and warm that you wanted to cuddle her and would keep her far from danger or anything harmful that this world offers.

You would do absolutely anything just to see her smile.

Because when she’s happy, then you are happy as well.

Sounds cheesy? Well, there will be time when you realize that love is indeed all that cheesy and romantic stuffs the romantic movies say. Maybe not that cheesy, but still, you just have to cringe whenever you heard yourself saying it.

And all those cheesy feelings only left you with insecurity since I had absolutely no idea what’s happening on Jessica’s mind. She always looked so beautiful and perfect with that long brown hair of hers, and her brown orbs, and her lovely smile and it left you with no clue at all.

I had no idea what’s running in her mind.

And she became brighter and more cheerful day by day that she gained more and more friends. Not that I hate it, it’s good that she got new friends, but it’s just sort of painful to see her laughing with other guys when I’m not around.

I decided then, that I should make my move.

One of my most favorite spot in the city that time was the campus’ rooftop. Our campus was located a bit outside the big city, and on top of a man-made hill. When you look down from the rooftop at night, you could see the city lights. The view was amazing.

I had learned a secret from my friend that the campus’ emergency staircase is never locked at night. So one night I took Jessica up to the rooftop.

“Mike, you sure this is allowed?” She asked.

“No, I don’t think anyone is allowed to come here at night. But don’t worry, I’ll make some kind of excuse when they catch us,” I replied, trying to act cool at the same time. Didn’t seem to reassure her though, but she kept walking.

Finally, we arrived at the top. The cold wind breeze greeted us, making me shivered. But Jessica, on the other hand, seemed to enjoy the cold. She walked closer to the railings; all her earlier doubts had disappeared.

“Mike, this is beautiful!” She said while she spread her arms wide. I smiled, happy that she’s happy.

We stood side by side in silence for a while. It’s funny, because being together in silence with Jessica didn’t feel awkward. It felt natural, as if enjoying each other’s presence is enough.

Jessica then turned around to face me with a smile. “Thank you. I don’t know what I’ll be without you,” she smiled. I smiled back, the inside of my body warm and butterflies were already swarming my stomach.

“Will you be a singer when you grow up?” Asked her out of the blue.

“What?” I replied, confused. She repeated, “I said, will you be a singer when you grow up?” And folks, that’s a thing about Jessica; she’s really unpredictable at times.

I contemplated my answer for a while. “I will be if you want me to,” I replied.

I thought she blushed a little. “Of course I want you to!” She replied back excitedly. “Do you know that I cry when I watch your performance at the festival? You are amazing,” she confessed.

I stared at her wide-eye, “The Jessica cry? The super cold girl that never talks to anybody, cry?”

She slapped my shoulder. I laughed, “Ouch! Okay, okay I was joking. But seriously though, do you think I can become a singer?”

Still with a pout, she answered, “I know you can! Honestly, you have the nicest, most beautiful voice that I’ve ever heard in my whole life. And you know that I’m not biased.”

I laughed at her answer, “Sure, you are not bias. How could Jessica, my best friend and companion, be biased? She has other tons of people that she loves, not like she loves me the most or anything, right?”

She slapped my shoulder again, this time a bit harder. “I’m telling you the truth! Geez, stop teasing me once in a while,” she pouted again.

I laughed until she decided to ignore me. She slipped her right arm inside my left and laid her head on my shoulder. She liked to do that.

“Then, if I truly become a singer, you have to promise me that you’ll buy my album,” I said.
It didn’t take her a second to answer, “Okay! I promise I’ll buy all your albums! I’ll be your number one fan!”

We laughed together, enjoying the calm night. We stayed like that for a while, until I realized that it’s getting late and we should really go home. “Hey Jessie, let’s go home. Your dad must be waiting.” I gently patted her head.

She straightened her back and scoffed. “My dad? Waiting? That’s the last thing that would ever happen in this world. He must be happy that I’m gone.”

I stared at her, bewildered upon hearing the hatred in her voice. I cupped her face with my hands. “Don’t talk like that! He’s your own father!” I scolded her.

She raised her own hands and put down my hands that were cupping her face. “I just… I just can’t… I can’t stop hating him. He’s a monster,” she said, with genuine sorrow and fear painted in her eyes.
I looked at her with pity, wishing that I could do something to fix her broken family. That was not the first time I heard her talking about her father with that tone. She truly hated her father.

Her father was a control-freak, and a perfectionist to add. He controlled every single part of Jessica’s life, leaving her with not even a bit of freedom. She was not raised with love and compassion; she was raised as if her father was raising another one of his pet. The side effect of it made Jessica unable to experience love, and it makes her put this mask on to cover the pain. 

I side hugged her, circling my left arm on her shoulder. She laid her head on my shoulder again. “I don’t want to go home. It’s so lonely there,” she said.

She was on the verge of crying. I tightly held her in my arm, caressing her hair as I did. I rubbed her back gently, and soon I heard muffled sound of sniffing. I knew she was crying, and I patiently waited until she stopped.

She eventually stopped, and fell asleep in my arms. She must be exhausted.

That night, we sat side by side on the rooftop with her head lying on my shoulder. She looked so angelic and peaceful when she’s asleep, and I wished she could always stay this way.

But, who am I to say that? For I am the one who left her heart the biggest scar.

O.O

Alice decided to go to a music store and I went inside with her.

She looked over some male singer album while whistling tune from her favorite song. I have no idea what she was looking at, since her style of music differs so much from my mine.

I was bored, so I decided to stroll around the store for a while. My eyes fell to the “New Album” section. There, piled in a high pyramid, was Michael Antonio’s first album.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw that. Of course he would have an album, he’s a singer now. It was just dumb of me to not think of that.

The cover of the album was Mike playing a guitar, wearing a classy suit with a bow tie. I held my breath, suddenly remembering my promise.

“I promise I’ll buy all your albums! I’ll be your number one fan!”

I promised him.

My hand slowly moved to grab one of the albums. He looked really handsome, and I believe that the content of the album will be as good as the cover. Somehow, it felt like my hand was moving really slowly. My heart was drowned in a mixture of happiness and sadness. I realized that I really miss his voice.

“Hey, look! Michael Antonio’s first album!”

I quickly lowered my hand when I heard Alice’s voice.

“You want to buy it, Sis? I don't think this is your sense of music,” asked her, while she took one of the albums and read the track list.

I quickly shook my head. “No. I’m just curious since he looks like someone I know,” I said. I lied.

“Come on Sis, there’s no way you would know him! He lives in a different world. Anyway, I heard he’s a good singer,” said Alice. She continued telling me facts about how most of the new artist nowadays sucks, but not Mike. “Mike sings really great ballad songs!” Declared my sister.

It’s not like I didn’t know that. I’m the one who told him to become a singer. But I didn’t really listen to what Alice continued babbling about. My mind sort of stopped when she said, ‘He lives in a different world.’

She’s right. It’s been years since we last met, yet alone talk. We had drifted apart. Now he had his celebrity life, and I had the boring life of a 20-something years old woman. And here I am, naively remembering all the time we spent together.

Maybe, I was the only one hoping for something.

Maybe, I was the only one who cares.

O.O

“Jess!” Waved Amanda when she saw me. She waved enthusiastically with a full charged 1000-watt smile.

“You’re late! You missed the rehearsal! And it was so hard to ask them to allow us to see it too,” she pouted.

We were already inside the SCTI Music Show studio, where the live performances are going to be performed. I intentionally came late, so that I would miss the rehearsal and avoid a few hours of meeting with Mike. But of course, I couldn’t run away forever.

“Sorry, I had something to do,” I lied. Amanda pouted for a while, but decided to stay happy instead, for now (though it will soon be for the rest of the day).

She started telling story of each and every one of the singers that’s going to perform, but I was not really in the mood for story. I stared blankly to the stage, watching a couple of crews walking back and forth, getting all the preparations ready.

But, I’m not really paying any attention to them either. I was playing a memory in my mind, a memory of the last time I talked to Mike.

O.O

“Mike, are you ready?” Asked a girl with headphones placed tightly on her head.

I nodded and exhaled some air, an attempt to calm myself down. “Okay, you are up in 5 minutes,” she said again.

I couldn’t focus. Somehow, I was not feeling normal. I felt a weird sense of familiarity, a set of feelings telling me that I’m home.

The only time I felt that way was when I was with Jessica.

O.O

By this part of the story, you guys must be pretty irritated because I haven’t tell any of you what’s going on with me and Jessica. Right?

Then, I’ll tell you honestly what happen. I was opening up.

In a more earthly language, you could say that I was ‘confessing my feelings’. And well, that was when things started to get really bad.

I brought her up again to the rooftop, the rooftop then had become our primary place to hang out. It was a rather chilly night, and we were more prepared this time. We wore thick clothing, and I even brought a blanket for her.

The atmosphere was perfect. We were standing side by side, watching the lovely city lights. At that point our friendship, we didn’t really need to say anything to each other any longer. We remembered each other’s habit, likes and dislikes, responses to question, and even expressions. And by that time, I was sort of confident that Jessica was feeling the same way.

“Jess,” I started, calling out her name.

She mumbled “hmmm”, meaning that she told me to continue. I gulped. “I have something I need to tell to you.”

She “hmmm” again. I gulped again. I was never a brave person. Never in my lifetime I imagined myself confessing to a girl. And I didn’t know how this works. So, I took the shortest way possible, the simplest way of telling someone you love them, and the simplest way of expressing all your feelings.

I kissed her.

“I love you,” I added at the end of our short kiss.

She was surprised, and I mean, who wouldn’t? After I pulled myself away from her, she stared at me with a really shock expression. Then, she was opening and closing her mouth with no words coming out; which could either mean she was gasping for air or hyperventilating.

I waited for an answer. Doubts started to form in my mind. Was I too straightforward? Was it too soon? She didn’t love me back?

She started to calm down a little and looked at me with, what I assumed to be, guilt. “I’m sorry, Mike,” said her. My visions got blurry as the worst possible outcome slipped out from her mouth.

I refused to accept her short reply. “Why?” I urged her to talk more. She shook her head. “It’s not about you. Trust me,” she replied.

“Why? You don't feel the same way?” I replied again in desperation.

“I love you too, Mike, trust me. You are the first person that could ever make me feel this way. But I can’t return your feeling. I’m sorry.”

“But why? If you love me, then why?”

“It’s… complicated.”

“Why can’t you tell me about it?”

“Because I can’t.”

“You always tell me everything.”

“Not anymore. I’m sorry.”

She closed the door on any further conversation after that sentence. It’s like she had turned back to the cold Jessica. “Jess,” I pleaded, “what do you think I would do now that you do this to me?”

I was only able to take an appropriate look on her face after I had said that. She was almost crying.

I realized how selfish I was for only caring about my struggle, when she was trying hard not to break down herself. She was in much more pain than I was.

Out of instinct, I hugged her. She cried on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she said in between her tears.

“My father would kill you if he knows about my feeling. He will kill you even more if we are dating. I’m sorry,” she continued.

And it was cliché. Her father was the barrier to any future we could have together. “He wouldn’t know,” I reassured her. She refused to be assured. “No, he’ll know. He had sources everywhere. He already has a man following you home, you know? I can’t put you into more danger.”

“But, why? Why would he do that to her own daughter?” I said, not believing what I was told.

“Because I was her daughter. I’m not a son, so who would continue the family business? He thinks I’m not capable. So he put me into this university to let people know I have a prestigious degree, and then I will be forced to marry some smart businessman I didn’t even know. He kept telling me that every night. That’s my bedtime story.”

The pain in her voice was obvious. It was too much for a girl like Jessica to handle. And what hurts more was the fact that I was the one who caused her all of this. If she never knew me, none of this would ever happen.

“I’m sorry,” I said. It’s my turn to apologize.

She backed away from my arms and wiped her own tears. My heart ached whenever I remember that.

“I have to leave you,” she said with her brown eyes covered in tears. I could probably cried as well, but I refused to show her my weak side. Guys don’t cry.

She walked away, but I held her right arm, preventing her to move further. I didn’t have to say anything for her to know that I still couldn’t let her go.

She stopped and somehow, with her back facing me, I knew that she was smiling. “Mike, do you know how happy I was when you said you love me?” She said. She paused for a while before continuing. “But, at the same time, I also felt scared. I knew that we could never be together. I knew that I have to let you go. And I want you to do the same also. I want you to go and live a happy life, not remembering anything about your heartbreaking first love," she said.

"I am your first love, right?” Added her, and I could hear the smile on her voice.

“Yes,” I replied with a croaked voice.

“Then you have to leave me. And you have to suppress your feelings whenever you meet me. Because that’s the best for both of us,” said Jessica. The sadness was unbearable at that point. Then slowly, I let go of her arm, knowing what she was saying was true. I couldn’t keep her. I had to let her go.

She walked away, further and further away from me, with every step she took forming more invisible walls between the two of us. She touched the doorknob and I knew that I had little time to say this. 

“Jessica! I love you!” I shouted.

She stopped. “I understand what you were saying, but that alone won’t change my feelings. So, I’ll say it again; I love you. And I understand the fact that we will never be together, and I’m okay with that. But, if you ever find yourself needing a friend, I will be right here. I will always be here when you need me, I promised you that,” I said, with every single word coming out from my heart.

Jessica didn’t move for a few seconds, but then she continued walking, thoroughly closing the door behind her.

O.O

When I got home at night, I cried again.

The fact that Mike said he loved me and me rejecting him hurt every inch of my heart. He never knew that every single day, I had been trying to suppress my feelings for him, telling myself that I need to think about his happiness, and trying to stop myself from acting selfish.

But then he easily kissed me and said that he loved me and I have to be the one telling him the ugly truth. It sucks.

To say that I cried would be an understatement; I think I was wailing. Wailing in grief, in anger, in sadness. I just let myself drowned in emotions.

My dad came in and asked whether or not I was fine, and I kicked him away. I knew he was mad, but he couldn’t do anything with all of the maids in the room looking at him. I didn’t come out to campus for a week, and I knew that Mike was worried. He did a great job for not calling or even texting me.

Then one day, life just went back to normal.

Normal here means the kind of normal I was used to before I met Mike. My dad kept on being a jerk that he was, while I kept on going to university, and not really talking to anyone. All my other friends tried to talk to me, but they gave up when they realized that I didn’t want to be bothered.

I was partly sad, because I knew that Mike was not fighting for me. I half-expected him to come dashing into my room and take me away to elope together. But of course that’s not happening. Mike would never do anything like that.

The worst part of it all would be the fact that I had to cope with my father alone again. When Mike was around, I could lock myself in my room and talked to him for hours. Everything would feel so much better then.

At a dinner one day, my father kindly brought up the subject of my depression lately. “Don’t look so depressed. What will people think if they see this? You’ll ruin my image!”

And I was actually thinking that he was about to say something nice. How dumb I was. He was not even able to show a tiny bit of compassion, and I out of all people should know that.

I stood up and walked away from the dinner table, even though I haven't touched my dinner. To my surprise, my father stood up and forcefully grabbed my left arm. “No,” he simply said. I looked back at him, feeling sick from every single one of his commands. “Let me go!” I shouted. He didn’t even move.

I had enough of his attitude. “Let me go or I’m going to sue you for child harassment,” I said, with a tone as cold as ice. But that made him squeezed my left arm even stronger. “Try,” was the last word he said.

He let me go, and then went back to eat his dinner. I stood there motionless at first, before running out from the house, grabbing one of the car keys beforehand. I drove away from the house, feeling broken and miserable. There’s no way I could escape my father.

I silently let my tears fall. I drove aimlessly, and slowly wished that Mike was here with me. My only wish that night was simply to meet him.

I missed him.

I loved him, and I knew I should have never left him like that. We could go through this, no matter what happen, even when the threat is my dad. I could just go run away to my mom or something. There’s nothing we couldn’t overcome if we are together.

My aimless drive brought me to the campus. My feet automatically moved to the campus’ rooftop. I arrived at the campus’ rooftop, where I was prepared to see a set of delicate brown eyes and dorky grin, when I found no one there. I walked closer to the railing, cursing myself for not knowing where he lived. I looked at the starry night sky, and it reminded me of the time I spent with Mike together.

I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “MICHAEL!!!! I LOVE YOU!! COME BACK TO ME!! I MISS YOU!!” I shouted to the stars.

I remembered that I was the one who close the door. It was naive of me to think that he would still wait after I turned him down like that.

I cried afterwards, weeping for my own lost and stupidity. There’s no way I could find him here. He was probably speaking figuratively, as if I could call him whenever I need him. I could just call him, but I didn’t have enough strength to do so. All I wanted to do was to meet him, yet destiny said otherwise.

I got home and got madly beaten by my father. But I didn’t care.

I’ve lost enough that I don’t think I can feel any more pain.

O.O

After the last conversation I shared with Mike, I never met him again. People said that he dropped out of school to become a model. But no one could ever prove that, since no one ever see him again. It’s as if a person name Michael Antonio no longer existed.

Not until he became a singer that I saw him again. And I don’t know whether I should be feeling grateful or ashamed when I meet him. It’s a mix of feelings.

“Oh oh! It’s time for Michael’s performance!” Chirped Amanda excitedly. I could only laugh dryly when the MC finished talking her monologue and the stage revealed Mike playing a white piano.
I unconsciously held my breath, as he took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Age had been kind to him, since his appearance didn’t change much even though it’s been years.

He started to play the piano, and he started singing as well. “The song is called ‘Little Bird’. He composed it himself,” whispered Amanda.

No way, I thought. There’s just no way.

My hand moved to touch the dangling necklace on my neck, the little bird. It was the symbol of our friendship.

“Let’s just say that this is a friendship gift from me to you, okay? Now just take it because I’ve paid.”

The sweet voice of Mike filled the studio. And memories of our time together were played in my head when he sang.





I watched this little bird fly
Then it landed right in front of me
I took care of its broken wings
Until it could fly again


“I think you’re not a bad person. You’re just misunderstood.”


“I tell you right now, and I won’t repeat it again. She is my friend, a better friend than any of you. And if anyone bothers my friend, then they are challenging me to a fight. So, don’t you ever, ever get close to her again. Or next time, I will do something that you will never forget for the rest of your life. Understood?”


It’s beautiful, the little bird
But there’s no use of it staying here with me
I need to let it fly
Because what’s the use of wings if not to fly


“Then you have to leave me. And you have to suppress your feelings whenever you meet me. Because that’s the best for both of us.”


* So I let it soars the sky alone
I try to make it forget its home
And even though I know I’ll miss it
It’s too late

It had fly away
I let it fly away


“I understand what you were saying, but that alone won’t change my feelings. So, I’ll say it again; I love you. And I understand the fact that we will never be together, and I’m okay with that. But, if you ever find yourself needing a friend, I will be right here. I will always be here when you need me, I promised you that.”


Even though its home is right here next to me
But I couldn’t let it come back to me
It needs to see the world, fly away
It needs to leave me


I arrived at the campus’ rooftop, prepared to see a set of delicate brown eyes and dorky grin, when I found no one there.


I couldn’t let it stay
I had to let it fly away







Mike’s voice cracked at the end of the song, and his eyes looked like a crystal, as if he was crying. Apparently, he’s not the only one crying. The whole studios were paralyzed with his moving performance. Everyone was in tears. I was weeping.

He sang with so much passion. That’s always a power that only he could possess. He breathes life into the song. And I still think that he had the nicest and most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard in my whole life.

He exited the stage. I was still crying. I knew he wrote a song about us. But from the way he sang it, I figured out one thing.

He was there the night I came to the rooftop.

O.O

I was there.

I came to the rooftop every single night, mostly to keep Jessica alive within me. But I never thought she would come back. When she walked in that night, I was ecstatic. That time, I happened to be walking at the other side of the rooftop, so she couldn’t see me.

I ran to meet her, feeling completely satisfied in the inside. I studied her from top to toes, a habit I developed over the course of our friendship. She was rubbing her arms, feeling cold because she didn’t wear any coat or jacket. A red imprint was shown clearly on her left arm. The imprint was in a size of a man’s hand, and it took me literally one second to guess who left it there. Plus, the way satisfaction and grief was painted on her face made me know what was going on.

She ran away from home.

I hide behind one of the pillars, watching her watching the night sky. Maybe you’ll all think that I was an idiot. So what if she ran away from home?

It’s not just a ‘so what’. If being with me means that she needs to run away from home and abandon her father, then I couldn’t accept that. Her father would never leave us alone. He would chase us to the end of the world, and that wouldn’t mean happiness to Jessica. I couldn’t let Jessica had that fate.

We were young and foolish. Jessica had a bright future ahead of her, and I couldn’t let her waste that on me. And I promised that I would do anything to see her smile. So I knew, at that time, that I needed to let her go.

I crouched behind one of the pillars and tried so hard not to run out and hug her when I heard her scream. That night, I bottled up all my feelings in a nice little box and stored it away deep inside my heart. I let myself cry for once, but only for that one time.

In between my tears, I swore that I would never come to that place again.

Then, I disappeared.

O.O

A talent company scouted me and I dropped out of university. I trained for years, working hard to be a full-time singer because I promised Jessica that I’d be one. I was just trying to keep my promise.

It was then natural for me to compose a song about her. The company allowed me to do so, since it actually helped me sang better with my true emotions.

And that’s what I did at the Music Show performances. Singing with passion. Though I didn’t know why, but I felt a different sense of familiarity when I performed that day. I felt that my emotions for Jessica, all my sorrows, all my pain, and all my despair, were expressed into that song.

Suddenly, I heard a knock in my dressing room door. My manager was away to the toilet, and I was alone since everyone else was busy doing whatever he or she was busy with.

“Yes!” I said to whoever was behind the door. I walked to door and turned the doorknob. I blinked.

There in front of me was Jessica herself. I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Je… Jessica?” I managed.

She only smiled. “Hello, Mike. Long time no see,” she replied.

She didn’t age much. I didn’t know what to describe since she looked exactly the same like when she was in university. Apart from her hairstyle, that was slightly different, nothing changes.

I put myself in autopilot and welcomed her in. I stuttered, “What… what… what are… how are…”

“I have my own connection. Sneaking to the backstage is fairly easy,” she answered my unspoken question.

I relaxed a bit after her reply. We still could understand each other without words. We then stood in front of each other, didn’t bother to even sit down, while trying to study each other’s presence. My gaze fell on the ring located at her left hand.

Jessica realized what I was looking at and quickly hid her hand. I gulped. “You’re married?” I managed to ask.

She stood there motionless before answering, “Yes.”

“Children?”

“A son. Born a year ago."

“I see. He looks like you?”

“No. He looks like his father.”

His father. My heart twitched when I listened to that. Of course, she must already have a family by her age. It was totally normal.

An awkward silence engulfed us. We never felt awkward around each other. But we did now. Where was the connection that we used to have?

“What about your father?” I asked to break the silence.

She stood motionless again. “Sick. My husband takes care the business now. He’s not joking when he said that he was going to marry me with some smart businessman,” she said. I knew she was trying to joke, but her sense of humor was not funny.

I awkwardly smile. Her life was so different from mine. We have grown apart.

Jessica was looking down at her feet, while her hands were busy playing with the end of her shirt. She wanted to say something.

“The… performance earlier… was beautiful. And…” she said without managing to finished her sentence.

Of course she saw the performance, what was she doing here if she didn't. And it thus made me know why I sensed the familiar feeling earlier.

She struggled to say something, because she kept her head down. I spotted the little bird necklace, the one I bought for her years ago, dangling from her neck.

And I knew what she was about to say. Between us, there’s no words needed to begin with.

I helped her finish her sentence. “And you appreciate it. But there’s no way we could go back to the way we used to be,” I said.

She lifted her head, and her expression didn’t belong to one that’s surprised, it belonged to one that surrendered. She looked restless and tired, pain and agony reflected from her beautiful brown eyes.

The most painful thing that I could ever watch was watching her sad, and to know that I was the one who caused that pain me even more. I swore that I would do anything to see her smile, but hey, here I am, leaving a bigger gap in her heart.

Jessica lifted her hands and took off the necklace from her neck. Then, she handed the necklace over to me.

It was her way of saying goodbye.

I slowly lifted my hand and offered her my palm. She let the little bird slipped away from her hand, and it landed safely on my palm. I clenched my fist and looked at her. I was taking the only thing that would ever remind her of our friendship and me.

We both smiled to each other. We both knew that that was perhaps the last time we would ever smile to each other.

Jessica turned around and walked for the door. I was left standing there, still tightly clenching my fist. I wanted to scream and say that I still love her, but I didn’t.

Because I knew I wouldn’t be able to let her go if I did.

O.O

I was going to leave from Mike’s dressing room when my mind played fragments of memories, just like a video, inside my head. I remembered how I left him, and I remembered his promise.

"But, if you ever find yourself needing a friend, I will be right here. I will always be here when you need me, I promised you that.”

He was not lying. He was always there for me.

I turned around to face him, one last time. “Hey, Mike. Thank you,” I simply said.

He looked surprised. But then he smiled, the last smile that he will ever give to me.

I turned around and left without saying anything else. I didn’t even have enough strength to smile back.

O.O

I walked out of the building to found Amanda waiting for me.

“So?? How is it??” She asked. I fooled her by saying that I wanted to meet Mike and asked for an autograph. I lied by saying that my sister Alice was his huge fan.

I only smiled and lifted both of my thumbs. She clapped, “Great! That’s just amazing!”

I bitterly laughed. If only she knew my real reason. Then, I heard my phone rang and found out that my husband was calling.

“Jessica, I wouldn’t be home tonight. Busy day,” he simply said when I picked up.

“Okay,” I simply replied.

“Take care of the kid and pay the nanny,” he said before quickly hanging up.

I shoved my phone inside my handbag. Amanda was looking at me with pity. “Your husband?” She carefully asked.

I nodded. Then I cried.

Amanda was totally shocked by my sudden outburst and she was trying so hard to cheer me up. But nothing could ever cheer me up.

I cried for the fact that we had to live our own life again, back to normal. I cried that what we had was nothing but merely a stupid first love. I cried since there was no more hope to keep. I cried because I said goodbye.

That night, I cried and cried and cried for my lost. I cried for Mike.

O.O

I pretended to sleep so that I wouldn’t need to face my manager’s daily rambling. I was feeling tired physically and emotionally, and I just need some time to rest.

I thought about my feelings when I first wrote that song. What was I feeling? I still loved her, that much was obvious, but did I write it because I was trying to get her back?

I still held the necklace tightly with my hand, still not able to let her go. The more I thought of it, the more I realized it. When Jessica came to my dressing room earlier, she was not there to say hello. She was there to say goodbye.

Ever since she stepped into that room, I realized that all she wanted was to let me go. I, too, had been hanging on for too long. Then, did I write that song so that I could completely let her go?

I woke up when the car stopped in front of my apartment. I got down from the car, and was walking to the apartment’s door when I spotted something. A little bird was lying hopelessly on the front porch.

I waited until the car and my manager left. Then, I knelt down to inspect the little bird and realized that it had broken wings. If someone fixed this, the little bird would be able to fly again. So much of a metaphor, huh? I actually found it, the bird that I was singing about in my song.

A drop of water fell to the bird’s white feather and I looked up. It’s not raining. More drops of water fell to the bird’s feather. Then I realized that I was crying.

I clutched the bird tightly, pressing it against my chest. I cried, realizing that I cried for the second time. I knew that I promised not to cry again, but I couldn’t help it. Called me a girl for crying, but there’s going to be time where you just can’t keep your feeling inside any longer. And my time was then.

It then made me realize why I wrote that song. I wanted Jessica back.

But then at the same time I realized that I never could. I need to let her go too, since our story was nothing more than a first love story.

So that night, I made up my mind.

I would let Jessica go.

No, I need to let her go.

O.O

“Bye mom!” shouted a small boy, aged no more than two years old. He was smarter beyond his age, as he could already speak and pronounce words clearly.

Jessica waved at her beloved son, feeling content that she could raise such a smart and beautiful boy. The boy was walking away into the gate of his school, ready to embrace another day there.

Jessica and her husband lived separately since a couple of months ago. She then takes her son to live with her, since her husband is a good-for-nothing father, and she wouldn’t want someone like that to raise her son. But in the same time, her ‘Mighty Father’ forbids any type of divorce (“we need to maintain our image!”), so they are pretty much stuck with each other. Not loving each other, not living with each other, yet not able to say goodbye to each other.

Other than the drama in her marriage life, her life was actually going back in track. She had recently taken business classes, and was seriously considering going back to university. She was thinking of opening up a clothing store, and she would need basic business knowledge to execute that. People around her supported her 100% (except for her husband and sick father) and she was grateful for that.

She silently thanked her second meeting with Mike, because meeting him was the one that triggered everything. If she didn’t meet him, then she would never know what she wanted to do in her life. Meeting Mike gave her purpose and motivation to live.

Jessica went home and rummaged through her stacks of CD. She took out a CD titled “Michael Antonio – The First Album” and put it in a CD player. She kept her promise. She bought his album.

She sat down on the balcony of her apartment, with Mike’s voice filling the emptiness in her heart, and smiled. Jessica loves him so much, and nothing will ever change that feelings. But she accepted the fact that she couldn’t have him back, since that’s not the most important thing. And they don’t need to be next to each other to tell each other that. No words are ever needed.

I knew I’d be okay as long as he’s there.

Mike will always be there for her, even when they are not next to each other.

And as long as he is happy, Jessica will be as well.

O.O

Mike smiled at fan letters that his fans gave him. A side effect of the job was that he could make so many people happy.

He stood up and stretched, then walked out to the balcony.

Adjusting life after meeting Jessica was not easy. After that meeting, Mike still sang ‘Little Bird’ with the exact same emotion. But recently, he realized that he didn’t really understand the lyrics he wrote himself back then. Back then, he was only singing it to filled his emptiness. While now, he meant every single word that he said.

He sometimes wondered whether or not his emotion reached Jessica and not only critics who thought that his performances were ‘passionately brilliant’. He wondered if Jessica knew that he would always be there for her, even when they were apart. But he smiled anyway, believing in Jessica.

He knew Jessica would keep her promise.

He walked closer to a bird nest situated at the end of the balcony and smiled to the little bird. He had grown attached to this bird for the last couple of months, but he knew he had to let it go.

He took it out of its nest and caressed it for one last time. It was ready to fly.

He released the bird, and the bird flew to the sky. It flew around the area for a while, before looking back at Mike, as if it was saying goodbye.

Mike smiled, and the little bird swiftly flew away. The little bird looked happy, and Mike was happy for that.

Because when she’s happy, then you are happy as well.

He watched the bird flew and knew that he had truly let it go.

This time, he had truly let it go.

O.O